Year of Incongruence
Change is the one theme that I admire devotedly. I often think that the root cause of many of the societal problems that I observe in our society is resistance to change. A person ready to change is a person with a confidence to leap forward in life, I even argue.
It was with the sole objective of experiencing change that I get involved in an industry far from my career objective, business advisory. What I have identified in my over one year stay in the media industry is, however, that it is an environment of information but not knowledge, hard work but less recognition, overwork but meagre income, and visibility but not upward mobility.
In thinking about the just-ended year, I came across many occasions that I worked hard to break myself. These were times that I had the most satisfaction out of life. Yet, they were all useless for they were accompanied by little more than a good feeling.
For a boy who has grown in a family wherein outstanding works are awarded with jovial recognition and parents differentiate their children between smart and lazy ones to treat them accordingly, the time of gross valuation as was the past year was painful. It seems like an era of classical human resource management theory typified by undifferentiated treatment of workers in an industry.
Indubitably, it is painful to work in an industry that lacks the basic instruments of tracing productivity differentials and recognise them accordingly. It all feels like standing amid a turbulent ocean where the currents coming from different sides are felt differently but the wetting impact is the same.
The year was indeed that of passivity, dissatisfaction and physical depreciation. It also had been a year of emotional sacrifice and wilful suppression. Beyond all, it was a year where the theme of change was thrown into the jungles of disregard.
Where I tapped most of my happiness last year was from the challenge of processing a large load of information than I have ever done. Eventually, the process does not involve the creation of a new frontier of knowledge. It rather brings a new edge of connectivity.
In line with my expectation, I could not enjoy the privilege of having access to overwhelming new information. I found it less comforting. Most importantly, though, I hated its rawness.
If at all the year brought one new experience, it is the ability to try to connect dots of information and create full images. Rare as the ability to analyse information in the Ethiopian media sphere, I was burdened with such a responsibility. But it was far less challenging than the requirements of planning and managing development projects; the job that I love so much.
On the personal front, the year has thought me the cost of surrendering boundaries. Surprisingly, I came to know about the inherent satisfaction that individuals obtain from transgressing the boundaries of fellow human beings. I have also noticed that the society I live in devours authoritarian leadership than a participatory one. Hence, the desire of many individuals I met to try to assert inexistent power rather than earning it through excellence, integrity and hard work.
The characteristic nature of the Ethiopian media environment is shockingly of incapacity. It is completely different from what it looks from outside. It is marred with incapacity, counterfeited professionalism and lack of vision. It is a place where incompetence is rampant and tolerated.
I always wonder from where the moral ground of an industry swamping in the marshes of incapacity to accuse government of inefficiency and indecision originate.
Standing at the forefront of new happenings might be adventurous as most pundits in the industry argue. But I could not see its benefit for raw information does not translate into personal development. That may be why, I often think, the Ethiopian media environment is full of people with overflowing ego but little consolidated knowledge.
By and large, the year was a year of sorting. It forced me to sort information, opinions, judgments, individual behaviours and decisions. It also pushed me to the discomforting edges of life that my objectivity was tested like no other time.
In shouldering the responsibility to preside over shocking times, I have learned that breaking the cycle of problem analysis is essential to live beyond shocks. Rare as shocks are in the media environment, the ability to attend them is also rare. A few years of experience in policy circle would obviously be an advantage as shocks are inherent in there.
Thinking about the future, I see little chance of staying for long in such an industry. I would see myself joining the trade of conventional policy making and realisation as I see maturity there. I see myself standing at the junction of information, analysis and decision making than switching between them.
However, I would always remember the past year as a period of incongruence: a misfit between a belief in change and a personal disregard to realise it. I would also remember it as a time of incongruence between individual career objective and reality.
I wonder where in life such an experience could be deployed to advance personal development.
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